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strictly literary: searching for beautiful by nyrae dawn

before brynn's mother died, before she fell in love with the wrong guy and got pregnant, before she lost her friends with lies, before christian moved back into town brynn was leading a normal teenage life, with normal concerns. and then everything changed.

searching for beautiful is about brynn's search for herself, because all the stuff that happened in between before and after is still messing with her. brynn begins the now portions of the novel closed off and insecure. and slowly she starts to see that even if she can't find the unbroken before brynn, people still do. that brynn isn't gone, she's just recovering. her heart was so bruised and beaten she's afraid to trust anyone else with it.

but slowly, she starts to open up. and as she does, everything gets better. it's not a miracle process, it's a slow and steady build-up to better. but better is good, because better means that you recognize that what happened before wasn't fine.

this is one of those ya books that i think tries to cram in too many issues so that it's not possible to do them proper justice. the novel works on the strength of brynn and christian's connection. but on the issues side of things, i'm not sure that worked for me. for example, when brynn finally talks to christian about jason, she mentions her pregnancy but does not talk about how she lost the baby. given that earlier in the novel she has several nightmares about babies and also has a freak out over a science class project that we never actually see her complete, it makes no sense to me that she wouldn't bring this up. it's these inconsistencies that lessen the impact of some of the issues the author is trying to highlight.

**searching for beautiful published march 4, 2014. i received a digital copy courtesy of netgalley/entangled publishing (entangled teen) in exchange for my honest review.

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